Government Ransacks Luggage and Assaults Miss USA

I walked across the border without incident, but the government ransacked my luggage. I suffered less than Miss USA, who was sexually assaulted.

We flew from Panama to Tijuana to avoid USA airports, but Mexicana Airlines and the USA government foiled our plans. We connected through Mexico City and the airline left my luggage there while we flew to Tijuana. We rode to LA while the airline flew my luggage across the border the next day. Unfortunately, the government vandalized my luggage, emptying some curry powder that covered my vitamins and spices with orange powder.

It was distressing to be without luggage for 20 hours, but I suffered less than Susie Castillo, whose vagina was fondled 4 times:

Amtrak car where passengers enjoy scenic views of California, Nevada, and Colorado.

The government treated Mary and I much better on the Amtrak train from Oakland to Denver. They left our luggage and bodies alone, served acceptable food, and the beds in the sleeper car were long enough to allow our long tired bodies to sleep. The beginning of the trip from Oakland to Truckee, Nevada was very scenic, as was the end of the trip from the hot pool town of Glenwood Springs to Denver.

The government continues to squander a few billion dollars each year on Amtrak, even though they only receive $2.0 trillion in revenue and spend $3.6 trillion. Perhaps United Statesians will demand budget cuts and a balanced budget after the economy declines for a few more years.

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